Learning...

During these past few days, i just learnt some more things about myself that i need to change...God please give me the courage n the strength n also your grace especially to see me thru all these things...i hate being drawn into things like these but i know u r showing me an area i need to go thru n change...thank you in advance for the light i will see at the end of the tunnel when the tests i need to go thru are over for i will emerge victorious becos of Your grace. everything starts from You n it will also end with You...thank you Father for being my Lord. Amen.

accepting others

The test of your maturity is your acceptance of others.

-Pastor Kong, towards the end of tonight's svc, 24 Jan '06

Others meaning other believers, n also non-believers, be it whether they r nice or unfriendly, rude or mean people. We need to learn to accept them.

Acceptance is NOT approval.

Pst Kong preached a really powerful sermon this morning..something i really needed to hear for a long time...even though it's something every Christian should know but i admit, there r times i let the Word go in 1 ear n come out the other, like the verse in James that talks abt the person looking in the mirror n later after he goes away, he forgets what he saw. 1 thing i have made up my mind abt this year is to meditate more on the Word of God, to really let it go into my spirit n not lose it so easily to the devil. Many things, actually most of it, that sis klessis prayed over me on fri night during cg was what i had been sensing the Holy Spirit was speaking to me lately n i'm really comforted that God used sis klessis that night to confirm the Word He had spoken to me.

Pst talked abt the frame of our minds, a big frame can contain more things n dream big dreams for God whereas a small frame will contain less..it's really a challenge to us to have a bigger frame of mind, not just to think abt ourselves, but also to consider n ponder over the things of God, the things He wants us to do for Him, to give more thought to His people, to love Him n worship Him with all our hearts n minds, to dream big dreams for Him..it all links together with the cg sermon, n also what bro isaiah shared with us last thu, not to be inward looking but to be more outward looking, not just to take care of my own things, my own friends, but also to take care of the things of others, to take care of other people's friends n be their friends as well.
As the bible says, if we r faithful with another man's things, we will be blessed as well, like in the parable of the man with the 5 talents, who was faithful to use his talents n was rewarded with more.
Being faithful to do little things, that's where it all starts..

Voice of Truth

a song i really love these days...

Voice of Truth

Oh what I would do to have
The kind of faith it takes to climb out of this boat I'm in
On to the crashing waves

To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown where Jesus is
And He's holding out His hand

But the waves are calling out my name and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
Time and time again, "Boy, You'll never win!"
"You'll never win!"

But the Voice of Truth tells me a different story
The Voice of Truth says, "Do not be afraid!"
And the Voice of Truth says, "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of Truth

Oh what I would do to have
The kind of strength it takes to stand before a giant
With just a sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors
Shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand

But the giant's calling out my name and he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
Time and time again, "Boy, You'll never win!"
"You'll never win!"

But the Voice of Truth tells me a different story
The Voice of Truth says, "Do not be afraid!"
And the Voice of Truth says, "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of Truth

But the stone was just the right size
To put the giant on the ground
And the waves aren't looking so high
From on top of them lookin' down I will soar with the wings of eagles
When I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
Singing over me

Repeat Chorus

I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of Truth

my thoughts on sch..

Since school started last week, it's been pretty hectic for me, especially since i'm taking P1 this yr. i know many teachers in my sch try to avoid taking lower pri cos 1 main reason is that it's the afternoon session and the day seems to last longer and it's tiring taking P1s especially in the 1st month when they're not used to the long hours in sch compared to their kindergarten days and some of them start crying for their mummys. Well, i did have a few on the 1st day n 1 of them cried for the whole of last wk! at certain points i was quite irritated with him but i finally decided that i just had to leave him alone n not shower him with too much attention. honestly, being in the line for only about 6 months, i'm rather clueless about how to handle crying children n wat i should say to them n also how to handle cases where my kids start wetting their pants..sigh...i guess i lack that maternal instinct in me...n i'm also really amused at how often they need to go to the toilet...the 1st day of sch seemed like a really bad 1 for me cos it was the 1st time i took a P1 class, which meant they had no idea abt basic things like lining up in 2 straight lines n how they ought to sit in the hall n that they were supposed to sit down when the DM told them to sit down in the hall...i had this tendency to take it for granted that they knew these things..plus had to collect lots of books from them n they were bored n noisy..it was a really long day for me that day n by the time i got home that night i was so discouraged i was thinking of ways to pay up my bond so i could quit... i'm really glad to have a colleague like emlyn in sch though, really touched that she actually bothered to call me that night to find out how i was n gave me some advice on how to handle the kids in sch...she's our PE HOD n since knowing her last yr i can really see why she's a leader n a good 1 at that too, she's firm yet compassionate n understanding n a good motivator too..wish i could be in her dept n have her as my sup but no such luck yet .. but really, when i do become a cgl in future, i hope to have those leadership qualities she has.

today the kids were better though i still had to shout at them a few times to get their attention but i am starting to spot some that i can train up to help me do things in class, but must still need to observe them for another 1 or 2 more weeks to be sure...

someone ever asked me before if i found it hard to scold the children cos they are cute, n when i see them i can't bear to scold them. To that, my answer is no i don't find it hard to scold them. whether they are cute or not, i will scold them n punish them if they do something wrong, another reason is i dun have favourites in my class, there are some pupils that i ask to help me out more often than others cos they are more mature n can help me out with certain duties like cleaning the board n carrying books but it doesn't mean i like them more than the others, i realise this has been the case since my 2nd practicum n has become even more so since i started having a form class last july. In fact, i realise now that the reason i found it hard to scold my pupils last time during my 1st pract was cos i was so fearful then, n like wat pst kong preached that time, fear paralyzes us!

i believe in my heart that all this will fit into God's plan for my life n will prepare me for the dreams i have in serving God. God, help me to withstand whatever i need to go through during this time n protect me from all the darts that satan throws at me. Amen.

I will not let the devil win this battle. I am more than A CONQUEROR IN CHRIST WHO LOVES ME.