hold on to God Bel...HOLD ON...

I had to go to school today again, while everyone else I know from other schools are having their hols, I had to go back to WORK. Honestly, I felt that it was a real waste of time cos the Wordpower semi-finals is on Wed and I still have about 15 more verses to go. I really don't know how I'm going to finish memorising all of my verses...60 of them to be exact...word for word..by tomorrow afternoon. And I'm feeling so sleepy now and it's only 7pm! My first week in school last week wasn't a pleasant experience, the only comfort I really had was going to CG on Thu night and of course service on Fri night. Ps Kong really preached a wonderful sermon that day. When Tristan asked me before service if I had a desire to teach children, I couldn't really give him an answer. Before I started my present job in this new place, I loved my previous school a lot, I really did. It was during the time I spent there that I started going to CHC, got saved, taught a bunch of kids there that really loved me and I love them as well...honestly until now I admit I still miss them a lot.. and there were people around me who were always so encouraging, although of course there were still a few not so nice ones around. But my life started changing from there and if there was one place I could choose to work in, I would choose that place. But coming to this new place and meeting new people and new demands has been quite demoralising these few days. I know Ps Kong talked about the paradigm shift and how the Holy Spirit is moving in a new direction. Father, show me the way You want me to move, help me to see things more positively and not to be negative about my new environment. God, help me please! Lead me Holy Spirit so I can see the path ahead. I need You in my life...

late night..

Came back from Ps Phil's conference about 5 hours ago, but I'm still up. You must be wondering what I'm up to,still awake so late at night...or rather so early in the morning. Well, I'm doing a birthday card for my CG member. Never really expected myself to start helping to make cards actually, cos making them have never been my specialty. But I guess God is showing me that He has given me the ability to be able to do much more than what I can do right now. God is truly an amazing God, and I really thank Him for using me, when He could use someone else, and I've always appreciated Him for bringing me to City Harvest Church 3 years ago during one of the darkest moments in my life when I told God that I would give Him a chance. I have never regretted taking that step, because from then on, I have seen some of my dreams coming to past, and I believe there'll be more to come :) Honestly, I now realise that it wasn't me giving God a chance, but Him calling out to me, calling me to draw near to Him :)

a night of revelations..

Tonight was the first night of Ps Phil's week-long conference and it was truly an amazing one, which I believe will only get better as he continues to share his revelations with us for the next few nights. :)

Honestly, I was rather distracted this afternoon as I received SMS upon SMS from my friends in NIE telling me that our posting of schools was out. What kind of school will I go to? What will the kids be like? What about the other teachers and staff? I wondered. I wanted to open up my letterbox immediately and just rip open the letter to see what was written on it, but I couldn't cos the key wasn't with me, so I had to contain my curiosity all the way to church, wondering about my posting.

On my long train ride to church, I smsed Sabrina about my feelings towards my posting, and being the wonderful friend that she always is, she smsed me verses from the bible to encourage me. I thank God for this wonderful sister who has always been there for me since I started coming to CHC. :)

As praise and worship started tonight, I purposed in my heart not to let my posting bother me, but to focus on God, our great and mighty Lord & Saviour, to be lost in Him alone...yes Him alone. Just like what Ps Phil said, worship is not about putting God first in our lives, but it's about making Him the ONLY ONE in our lives, worshipping Him alone, not allowing other things in our lives to distract us from God.

Ps shared with us some things that really spoke into my heart tonight. Our lives are not perfect, cos we live in an imperfect world, but even in bad times when the storm comes, God is always there, in the cloud of glory. WE ourselves make the decision to focus on the storm or the cloud of glory. Many times, most of us tend to look at the negative cos there is some comfort there and we fall into this state of self-pity or self-consolation. So we need to have this 'ruthlessness' not to focus on the bad but to focus on God, the cloud of glory of God and enter into it, where in it we will find our destiny in life, God's vision for our lives.

Ps also mentioned about us being left in a certain place, so we can maximise our potential in that place and grow, that we are called to set things in order in that place. That really helped me a lot as when I got home and opened the envelope and saw my posting, I sensed a peaceful feeling in my heart, something that I haven't felt for a long time. Though I don't know much about this school that I have been posted to and it's a rather unexpected one to me, but I know God is with me, that He has called me for a purpose in that school. No matter what happens, be it good times or bad times, He is always beside me, walking with me all the way :) .

I guess it must be the anointing from church just now, but I can sense deep down inside of me that something is changing, I don't really know what it is but I believe it's from God and it has to be something good :)

My Own Blog :)

After reading through Sis Klessis and some of my CG members' blogs, reading about their thoughts, I had been wondering if I should set up one myself, cos I admit I'm a rather private person and sometimes find it hard to share my thoughts with others. However, I find that I have gotten to know some of my friends better after reading their blogs :) which I think is great cos I believe God wants us, as believers, to fellowship with one another, to build relationships with one another. Like what Estee said to me during CG last Thu, we are not called just to be a one-man island, to just have a relationship with God, but we are also called to build relationships with others, our CG members, friends in ministry, etc... and also reach out to the unsaved. :)